There is no Quintessential Expression of Loss

By Stuti Rawat

How much is more? How much is less? How much is melodramatic? How much is worth it? How much is show off? How much is genuine?

 

We often associate all these tags with the expression of sorrow. We often see society judging people on the way they express their sorrow or their grief specifically when there is a loss of things which are either irreplaceable or non- materialistic. 

If a person has accepted the reality, is not lamenting, standing up straight and is just going with the flow, then we would witness a few elements which would conclude that the person is unaffected by the loss. The person wasn't attached to the lost good. 

If a person is initially highly heart broken but with time has normalised the loss then that probably is the right way to deal with loss as most suggest. 

If a person is not emotionally strong enough and isn’t able to deal with the loss then there shall be a few who will say that maybe the person is overdoing it. 

This reminds me of a line from a chapter from our textbook.

“शोक करने, गम मनाने के लिए भी सहूलियत चाहिए और दुखी होने का भी एक अधिकार होता है”

Every individual is different. Every individual has an absolutely different way of expressing their sorrow because sorrow isn’t similar to the expression of happiness. Not many will be concerned about the way you express joy. But there will always be hundreds sitting out there to judge how much one is affected by loss. 

Some may express their pain out loud, some may write it on a paper, some may cry, some may listen to music, some may exercise, some may dance, every expression will be different. 

So let us, instead of judging the person during their hard times, try to make that person feel better in whatever way we can.